Sunday, February 03, 2013

Jerry Coyne, Sky Cat, and Jesus on stilts.

nq130130Here are some new theories about how Jesus actually walked on water, from the biologist Jerry Coyne, and his acolytes. 

Isn't it wonderful that we live in a day and age in which so many skeptical geniuses grace our shores, that they can produce such brilliant solutions to old puzzles, at the drop of a hat, or a purring in the ear from Sky Cat?

(1) Jesus was a space alien.

(2) He was the real fisherman, and knew where the rocks were; the disciples were actually the carpenters.

(2B) The disciples who were carpenters were, however, good enough sailors that they could maneuver between all those rocks -- without noticing that the rocks (perhaps made of transparent obsidian) were there. 

(3) Jesus was walking on stilts.  They were made of glass or aluminum, however, so they didn't float when Jesus jumped into the boat.  (Jesus was a bit ahead of his time, technologically -- combine with (1) as needed.) 

(4) The tide was out.  This itself was a miracle, since the Sea of Galilee does not experience very large tides, but this happens occasionally when the wormhole that transported Jesus (see #1) nears the Earth.  The disciples, again, being dumb carpenters, did not notice. 

The moral of this story seems to be: mock, and the world mocks with you. Think, and you think alone.


Tom Gilson said...

He has jumped the shark. On stilts. Glass, aluminum, I don't know--but lately he has been becoming increasingly irrational with respect to religion. Didn't think that was possible, but he's proved it was.

David B Marshall said...

I guess I didn't notice that earlier, sober-thinking phase.

fyreflye said...

It's "Ceiling Cat," not Sky Cat. If you were owned by a cat you'd be a believer too.